Quote

To hunt the Tiger, you must first hunt the Tiger in yourself, and to do that you first make certain the Tiger is not hunting you.

Mochtar Lubis

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*Tiger, looking very confused, turns around three times, finds a comfey spot and settles onto Lovesac, eats some chocolate, then zzzzzzzzzzzz*

Indecision

I feel my indecisiveness is because of a complete awareness of what I may miss by choosing one thing over another.

I want to do it all. And I want to choose the Right one. The one that I am meant to do. The one that will fulfill me, and leave me no regrets, and an encompassing feeling of completeness and meaning and destiny. Not too hard to ask for is it??

Perhaps I strive too high?

Why aim low?

As is explained in one (excellent) novel, every action, every choice influences the world. Making one decision impacts on all the future possibilities. By choosing to buy one bit of bread means that another person can not buy that bread, and they must go without. It effects their life and decisions. And by choosing to not make the purchase allows the next person to eat that bread.

The thing is I already knew that before I read it.

My indecisiveness is my large, expansive brain being crippled by the reponsibilty it feels towards all those possibilities. I want all those possibilities, those futures. I see in every decision I make, all those threads of futures that now will not be, because of one choice.

What if I make the wrong one?

So perhaps it is a fear of failure thing instead??

Maybe.

I don't know.

Confusion

Why is it so hard and confusing?

Why does one make it thus?

Spoilt for choice or too many choices?

I still don't know what I want to do, not really. And though I am tossing up between two, in actual fact there are still numerous possibilities that could be considered. If I dared.

I spoke with someone today, and they gave me a new perspective on something that I had long ago said no to, I suppose it is often about perspective, is it not? Doesn't make it easier though.

I could just do nothing more. Ever. Be content with what I've got. Be thankful even. Allow my brain to just be satisfied with ......this. Forever.

Nope. I would be ravaged with regret all the end of my days. So the key is to find something that one would not regret doing, and regret not doing.

Simple?

No.

Or I already would know.