Brighter Tiger

I think I have 39, no 38 fish now.... * does mental math*. Yup 38.
They are going well. One weird skeletal loach passed on the other day. I was kinda glad. He must have been the runt. He never looked well. Hope he was happy for a while.

Since it is getting occasionally cooler at night Pangur is more open to snuggling. She sleeps on the end of the bed when it is hot, or on the floor, but when it is cold she comes and snuggles beside me, or under the doona beside me. I have had her about 13 months now, and i am extremely aware of her. When she jumps up beside me i wake up just enough to lift the covers so she can crawl under. She has been known to get under herself many times though. Sometmes she'll jump frrm the floor along the edge so she jumps under the doona kind of. She doesn't often sit with me to watch telly of study unless it is cold.
Typical cat.

It hasn't been cold here much at all. The mornings are getting a little cool, but it is May and it is usually much colder by now.

I saw 300 the movie the other week. First movie seen since Pan's. I thought it pretty cool. A bit unrealistic, but i heard that version came from a comic, which would make more sense.

I got new PJ's the other week. They have litle tigers on them that say "Grrrrr". Thought them rather appropriate, not too mention very cute and snuggly. Have only worn the pants often, the shirt only 2 or 3 times. Just too warm atm to warrent full-flannel. Cosy though.

Been reading the Harry's again in preparation for 21/7. I got up to book 5, but have had uni work so i'll read 6 after exams, prob june. Leant 1 and 2 to mum so she can catch up.

Got one assignment due in 2 weeks. On comparitive herbivore/carnivore behaviour. Have to do behavioural studies. Done some on pangur, now need herbivores. Am thinking cows or koalas, but koala's in captivity sleep too much and cow's're too far away..... hmmmm. I don't really know where the nearest cows, or horses for that matter are.
*shrugs*

Work going better. I went to an emplyment expo recently. Found out my ranks for uni based on my uni marks and stuff. I am quite well situated, so have gotten thinking as to what i could do maybe next year. I could aim, but i sometimes wonder if I could cope for the long haul, all the pressure.

Yes, I know. You are all sitting on the edge of your seats, wondering how I am.


Doing a lot better, thankyou for asking. Meds are helping.

I still don't know what I want to do, or where I am headed, or how certain things are going to get sorted. I am still dysfunctional. But now I don't have the crushing blackness that i did before. I am less irritable, less snappy. I am generally in a good mood now. Still get shitty but not for as long. I am less reactive. Things are not the end of the world if they don't go right, or my way, or are unexpected. I have noticed my anxiety has actually increased, or rather my symptoms are more noticeable. But that is explained by my depression symptons are lower, so my anxiety symptoms are actually felt now. That may or may not be good. But I am not anxious everyday, so it is not too bad. Before I was depressed everyday.
It is better now.

My mum has noticed. She says I am nicer, and more able to talk to her and deal with her. Before I was not very talkative or pleasant.
I still have mood swings, i still go up and down, hormones still play their part, but on the whole me and my doc are happy with the current results, and I will be on these for a while.

I am currently happier.


I haven't been online much lately, I think it's been about a month or so, apart from uni research. Even though been getting better I haven't had much to say. Just floating. Being.


Better go to bed now.

Take care.
Will try to be around more often if I can.