Funnies

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest

to sit in on his sessions.

The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step

out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with

one hand.... and try saying things like, "Yes, I see," and "Yes, go on," and "I understand."

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the

suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your

knee and saying, "No shit... what happened next!??"

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast
table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were
sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a
jaybird fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples
are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal"





One of life's mysteries is how a 2lbs box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5lbs.


My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.


The nice part about living in a small town is that
when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.


Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.

Every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...
"You know, sometimes I forget to eat!" .....Now, I've forgotten my PIN, birthdays, and my mobile. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!


A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.




Did you know that a duck's quack has no echo?
Noone knows why.


A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces
attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle For example,
when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine
features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in
petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump
shoved up his backside.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

Trust

(yup I stole this from my one on the board)

(Last post july: Yee Gads!!!. I suck)



Trust is a very interesting thing.

I was talking to someone the other week. I said all lightheartedly "Don't you trust me?" and they said "No, but I don't trust anyone".

And that made me feel a bit.... shocked, offended, indignant, because frankly, I am a trustworthy person. Why wouldn't they trust me? They assured me it wasn't me, that they don't even trust their parents. I'm like What the? (I've met their parents and family, and hell, I'd trust them and I don't even know them well).

Which got me thinking of the possibility of different types of trusts out there.

I was moaning I bit to my mum about the conversation, and she then accused me of not trusting people.

And I said: But the thing is, I trust people to BE WHO THEY ARE.

For example. I don't trust a Lion to be a Kitten. Or a wolf to be a sheep. Or a rottweiler with the baby. A paedophile with a young child.
I trust a Lion to be a lion, a wolf/dog to be a predator etc.

Don't trust people to do things/ be things that they are incapable of doing/being.

If you get involved with someone who you know has an eye for the ladies/cheats, then trust that he has an eye for the ladies. Don't trust that he will be faithful.
(Like in the movie Frida.)

It doesn't mean that you won't get hurt? but maybe you will less.

So, material things: I could tell my mum my PIN (i know hers, and use her card if she asks me to by something for her).

I am currently lending a hand to a friend. I have paid for a few things like their insurance, food, fuel etc. Adding up to about I probably don't want to think.

I expect to be paid back, and I trust that I will eventually. I would not give them my card details.

I do I suppose have a pre-determined limit. I am not sure what that amount is, but I'll know when I reach it.

As to those deepest darkest secrets.

I have been accused of being "still waters run deep". (I don't know if that is relevant).

I have been asked to take people "on a walk through my castle".
Apparently I have a lot of barriers up, to prevent being hurt, but thinking right now, I don't know really if that is the case. As I am getting older, things of the past really have no baring on me today, and if they do then I tell, because i do believe that things are better out in the open, all cards on the table so to speak.
That is ok with perhaps the beginning of possible relationships, but just friends? aquaintances. No I wouldn't tell, but is that becuase I don't trust, or perhaps it is because it might be none of their business.?

While I may choose to only trust my close friends with secrets, and mum with my PIN... what about the hobblings, and the www?
I wouldn't give you my PIN. Sorry guys!

But my deepest, darkest secrets? Well, some of you have read my blog ( I know i don't update it often. I suck. )
Some of my blog is very personal.
I don't mind telling things here.

But that's because on the net, the trust is supported by anonymity.

So, to summarise:

Trust appropriately.
Trust changes depending on material/emotional.
Trust can be affected by knowing someone well vs anonymity.

I know I know, been a while.

Yes, I am still around, lurking in the shadows.

Read HP7 yesterday, how cool was that?????!!!!!!
I thought JKRowling did well, especially considering the pressure.

I enjoyed it thoroughly (WARNING SPOILER: even if some of my favourites died)

I am starting uni again tmw, am sitting the UMAT test on wednesday, still working full time, though am considering my options for next year.

Pangur is fine and dandy, the terrible child that she is! My beautiful baby.

Have begun knitting again, and been reading more, though with uni starting up again, I will have to (theoretically) cease those activities soonish. I am debating whether to try Chem or not.

My fish are well, although I did lose a few clown loaches. I don't know what they had, but one by one they turned skeletal and died. I've two left, who at this stage seem to be ok.
I have been given 4 more rasboras, to keep my lone one company. They have settled in well. My plants are going great, and are slowly taking over the tank.

I've been cold lately, sick of this winter. Too cold. But soon, it'll get hot and humid, and we'll all whine about the heat.

I should go and do some things, instead of waste time on the net. I need to prepare for the exam, read A Game of Thrones, finish my scarf and my poncho and the other two scarves for people, finish my art project for my mum, hop on my bike and do some exercise, maybe actually go out and enjoy the beautiful days we're blessed with, take my washing off the line....

You know, that sort of thing.

Batty Update

By the way, the flying fox baby that I rescued, Hettie, was released earlier this year, along with the other batties that my aunt ended up caring for (3 girls in total).

So somewhere over Brisbane, she'll be flying around with the other flying foxes, hopefully to thrive and live a good life. An excellent result considering how she started out in life>> new-born, attached to her dead mother's teat, her twin brother still attached to the mother via the umbilical cord. So sad. I wish her mother could know that one of her babies survived, and is now flying free.


I have been called to a couple of rescues. One last weekend was supposed to be a simple one, but luckily i picked my aunt up and took her with me because the "simple rescue of bat off a fence" turned out to be "rescue of bat 10 feet up from ground wrapped around barbed wired"


DON"T USE BARBED WIRE PEOPLE. IT IS DEADLY TO CREATURES. Animals that are not found and rescued die horribly cruel deaths due to starvation and dehydration, esp. when in summer, hanging trapped in the hot sun. It is so cruel.

Lucky for this girl, someone called her in. I got a ladder from the security guard and I went up one side, my aunt up the other. My aunt put a towel over the bat (still above us at arm's length), while i disentangled one wing and trapped it in the towel. But the other leg and wing was hopelessly caught so while i held this screeching bat in the towel above my head, my aunt went down and the security gaurd came up to try and cut the barbed wire either side. Eventually he succeeded, and we were able to take the flying fox to the RSPCA. Fortune continued to be kind, and the vaccinated vet was there. She sedated the bat to make it easier for us and more comfortable for the bat, and we extricated the barbed wire from the wings and eventually the leg. The black flying fox was lucky in that no bones were broken; no joints were involved. She lost a lot of leg flesh- when the vet moved the leg to check function the tendon was clearly visible, showing bloody white through a large gaping rent in the skin where the barbs had torn. The skin had be cut off as it got all dead and crusty while the bat was hanging on the wire. She'd been there a while. Her mouth was a bloody due to her own attemps to free herself, but she didn't do any lasting damage to her mouth. Apart for a concern about circulation, she had a good prognosis. But first, a good bath, as she'd pooed herself.

Last I heard (last night), she was still at the RSPCA, but doing well so far. When she can be released from the vet's care, she'll go to a carer that has a large avary with other bats to make sure she is fit to fly and fend for herself, then she'll be released.

I hope she goes well. The last one I rescued had to be euthanased. The injuries couldn't be fixed, and she wouldn't be able to fly or fend for herself.

Brighter Tiger

I think I have 39, no 38 fish now.... * does mental math*. Yup 38.
They are going well. One weird skeletal loach passed on the other day. I was kinda glad. He must have been the runt. He never looked well. Hope he was happy for a while.

Since it is getting occasionally cooler at night Pangur is more open to snuggling. She sleeps on the end of the bed when it is hot, or on the floor, but when it is cold she comes and snuggles beside me, or under the doona beside me. I have had her about 13 months now, and i am extremely aware of her. When she jumps up beside me i wake up just enough to lift the covers so she can crawl under. She has been known to get under herself many times though. Sometmes she'll jump frrm the floor along the edge so she jumps under the doona kind of. She doesn't often sit with me to watch telly of study unless it is cold.
Typical cat.

It hasn't been cold here much at all. The mornings are getting a little cool, but it is May and it is usually much colder by now.

I saw 300 the movie the other week. First movie seen since Pan's. I thought it pretty cool. A bit unrealistic, but i heard that version came from a comic, which would make more sense.

I got new PJ's the other week. They have litle tigers on them that say "Grrrrr". Thought them rather appropriate, not too mention very cute and snuggly. Have only worn the pants often, the shirt only 2 or 3 times. Just too warm atm to warrent full-flannel. Cosy though.

Been reading the Harry's again in preparation for 21/7. I got up to book 5, but have had uni work so i'll read 6 after exams, prob june. Leant 1 and 2 to mum so she can catch up.

Got one assignment due in 2 weeks. On comparitive herbivore/carnivore behaviour. Have to do behavioural studies. Done some on pangur, now need herbivores. Am thinking cows or koalas, but koala's in captivity sleep too much and cow's're too far away..... hmmmm. I don't really know where the nearest cows, or horses for that matter are.
*shrugs*

Work going better. I went to an emplyment expo recently. Found out my ranks for uni based on my uni marks and stuff. I am quite well situated, so have gotten thinking as to what i could do maybe next year. I could aim, but i sometimes wonder if I could cope for the long haul, all the pressure.

Yes, I know. You are all sitting on the edge of your seats, wondering how I am.


Doing a lot better, thankyou for asking. Meds are helping.

I still don't know what I want to do, or where I am headed, or how certain things are going to get sorted. I am still dysfunctional. But now I don't have the crushing blackness that i did before. I am less irritable, less snappy. I am generally in a good mood now. Still get shitty but not for as long. I am less reactive. Things are not the end of the world if they don't go right, or my way, or are unexpected. I have noticed my anxiety has actually increased, or rather my symptoms are more noticeable. But that is explained by my depression symptons are lower, so my anxiety symptoms are actually felt now. That may or may not be good. But I am not anxious everyday, so it is not too bad. Before I was depressed everyday.
It is better now.

My mum has noticed. She says I am nicer, and more able to talk to her and deal with her. Before I was not very talkative or pleasant.
I still have mood swings, i still go up and down, hormones still play their part, but on the whole me and my doc are happy with the current results, and I will be on these for a while.

I am currently happier.


I haven't been online much lately, I think it's been about a month or so, apart from uni research. Even though been getting better I haven't had much to say. Just floating. Being.


Better go to bed now.

Take care.
Will try to be around more often if I can.

In case you were wondering.....

Hello Raving Fans.

I've gone quiet again.


Sorry.

Things aren't great atm.

I've reverted to the blackness again. Or has the blackness got to me?

Either way, amounts to the same thing.

I've started a trial of meds.

See how goes.

Fish Additions

Added to my collection recently are:

2 more Clown Loaches
3 Kuhli Loaches.
2 Striated Loaches.
4 X-Ray Tetras.


All 37 fishies are well and accounted for.

I have spent many hours recently just gazing at them swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming.

I love my fishies. I do admit I have my favourites though.

Do Brunettes have more fun?

...Although I would assume that it was more to do with the personalilty of the person, as opposed to shallow haircolour, but, one never can tell....

I am not, however, a blonde. I have (apart from stripes of course), mousey- dark blonde- light brown hair.

I got a hair cut yesterday *shock horror* (happens sooooo rarely), and I went and bought a home colour kit as well.

I figured (as I colour my hair so rarely as well) that i would try to match my eyebrows, for a good look indicator.

So, "brazil nut" I am.

I like it!!

They say that a change is as good as a holiday, so perhaps this shallow change of my hair colour will lift my spirits a bit.

I certainly felt like a sexy bi-atch today!! All full of Austin power's quotes and large smiles. I swished my hair alot, like in the hair-care ads (lame I know.. it was fun though!)

I would say that perhaps it is not the hair however that has caused the uplift of spirits, but logically the Change.

The fact that I did something for once.
I made a decision.
I acted upon that decision.
I liked the outcome of the decsion.

That is empowering in itself, not matter whether I went blonde, brunette, redhead.

Perhaps I should do it more often.


But I will wait and see, maybe I will have more fun... or more fun will come to me!

woodford

Here's a link ( I hope) to the website for Woodford.
It is still about the latest one, the one just been, but it will ubdate I am sure through the year. I believe tickets go on sale November each year. Each year a new line up, of about 2000. Maybe we could make it a hobbmeet one year....
I do want to go overseas again though too.......

http://www.woodfordfolkfestival.com/

Fish Census Feb 2007

1 large bristlenose
1 small albino bristlenose
2 cardinals (tough little buggers) still alive
5 danios, inc. the one that ate arthur's gills. Is very full with eggs. All still alive.
2 silver sharks, 1 large 1 little
1 albino cory. Still there.
4 widdows, 2 blue 2 white
1 rainbow shark
2 3-spot gouramis
1 hardy rasbora, still kicking, so to speak.
2 smallish clown loaches.


The large bully gourami died, as did the other cory, a while ago now...

And my latest addition (latest baby):

1 black ghost knife. S/he's beautiful. Mum reckons she swims like a ballerina.




I forgot to add 3 Angels.

RIP Ciclid

MY POOR ICKLE ALBINO CONVICT CICLID DIED LAST WEEKEND.

I AM SOO SAD.

HE WAS BEAUTIFUL

LOTS OF PERSONALITY.

HE JUST GOT SICK.

I GAVE HIM MEDS BUT IT OBVIOUSLEY DIDN'T HELP.

On the subject of scary...

Let me tell you a tale:

When I was in India, I managed to scare myself completely and utterly. The hotel room I was in resembled a crypt. Long, narrow, with a room at the back with a little door. It was made out of stone, and was in a complex a few centuries old. My bed head was the door. It was cool at first.....

When I was alone in the evening I managed to frighten myself, and I ended up going to another room for a while for company. (i ended up showing them my room. They agreed it was creepy. It didn't help that the girl started to make up more scenarios about the little room, the locked door, the scratches in the door...Werewolves, vampires, ghosts etc).

The first night sleeping was ok. I didn't wake up.

The second night however, I was woken up. But it wasn't just ME. There WAS a noise, behind my head to the left. A drip drip drip.
I had to wake up my friend 'cos I was so freaked out. The room was so dark I could not see my hand in front of my face.
The light switch was on the other side of the room.
There was no bedside lamp.

And there was the sound.....drip drip drip...
And there was a small door behind my head, which had.... well,..... there weren't scratches, but they could have been...

So, needless to say I was packing it. Visions of vampires and ghouls above me with blood dripping from their fangs filled my head. I eventually was able to wake up my friend (a heavy sleeper). I managed to convince her that there was a noise, and she, after a while, wanted to go to the loo. If I got my torch. Which was in my coat pocket. On the end of the bed (I had not moved a muscle before now).

So I very bravely sat up, got my torch, and turned it on. I bravely turned the light behind me, my friend manged to turn the light on.....



And the vision that met my eyes was one of the scenes from Dark Water. I haven't seen the movie ( i never will), The preview was bad enough. The whole back wall was dark from water leaking from the curved stone roof. And the noise was a drip drip drip as water fell from the roof. The side of my bed was wet, the floor, the stuff beside my bed.

So I decided to move the bed closer to my friend's bed, and away from the water.

And there, revealed, was a great rent in the door (the door behind my bed, where I had slept the previous night, and was sleeping tonight). There was a space behind my head.
I daringly shone my light in through the gap in the door....
and saw a few steps going down into blackness.

The toilet light stayed on all night at my insistence. And I talked awhile to my friend before I got so tired I fell asleep.


I asked to owners the next day about it. They said it was the old women's quarters, and they now used it for storage. The water must have come from a burst water pipe.
Funny, in the photo that I took when I first got to my room, one can plainly see the darker wall at the far end. But I don't remember seeing it then.


My heart rate still increases whenver I reminisce about that event.

Woodford Folk Festival 2006-2007

I know long time no post. I am sorry to all my raving fans and loyal minions (you know who you are!).


Woodford Folk Festival 2006-2007.

The premier music event in Australia, if not the WORLD!

What can I say? It was my first time, and it definately won't be my last. I can recommend it to all out there, especially my fellow Hobblings. (what a fantastic place to meet up!)
I can't believe I haven't been before, I don't know why I haven't really. But then I think about it and I realise most times I have either been overseas, or about to go overseas, so, I suppose I have a good reason.
but from now on, i will either: be at Woodford, or be overseas. No other options will be open to me. Maybe.
So what was I doing over the Christmas/New year break? I was actually at the Woodford Folk Festival. It runs from 27 Dec to 1st Jan every year, and it's getting bigger each year (come to think of it, stay away!!) A music festival that runs for 6 days, and the hard devotees camp for the whole time. Some people go for a day, other for a few days, some stay in nearby hotels, but for the full experience, it is best to camp.
So who was playing? Well, it's kinda hard to name them all, with 18 venues that could have something going on from 8am until 1 or 2am.

SOME of this years line-up:
John Butler Trio
Resin Dogs
Kate Miller-Heidke
Tim Freedman
Tripod
Umbilical Brothers
George Negus
The Bird
The Herd
Xavier Rudd
Fourplay
That1Guy
Women in Docs
Stringmansassy
Jambezi
Youth Group
Leo
Lior
The Singh Sisters
Troy 'n Trevelyn
Ash Grunweld
The Audreys
Monsier Camembert
The Fumes
Blue King Brown
LABJACD
Kaki King
Kristina Olsen
Jodi Martin
DJ Blitz and MC_S
Bob Brown...

and many, many more.


It doesn't feature just music, there are visual art workshops, wheel pottery, crafts, dance workshops, discussion panals, debates, stand-up-comedy, street performers, stage performances, lectures, poetry, environmental displays and seminars, a circus tent, acrobats (acrobatic twins!), fire-eaters, chalkboard performances, art exhibits, bird watching, yoga, more food than you can poke a stick at, movies, massages and Reiki, charity stalls, henna, artist signings, and market stalls/shops where you can get your hippy clothes, ponchos, Crocs, drums, trees, funky hats, natural soaps, guinness, happy high herbs, parasols, head bands, shoes....And more.

Plus there's all the stuff for the kids.....

In terms of World Music and culture, there were performances/workshops from *takes deep breath*: Ireland, England, Morris Dancing, Indian, Bollywood, Maori, Sudanese, Tibetan, Nepalese, Capoeira, South America, Latin, Salsa, Tango, Bhajan, Balinese, Spanish, African, Bulgarian, Colombian, Flamenco, Russian, Andean Roots music, Balkan gypsy dance, Hip hop, Cuban, Bellydancing and Kurdistan. Many of those did both performances and workshops.

And there was also a tent devoted to Indigenous performances, acts, comedy etc. In fact, in June there will be a whole mini-woodford called The Dreaming, which is Australia's largist international Indigenous Festival.
And there is the annual Tree planting week-end in may.


Where is woodford? About an hour and half north-west of Brisbane.

See you all there next year. If not, fine, more room for me....

But bring your gum boots/wellingtons, and a poncho. And a hat.



Awwww gosh I wanna be there now.....!!

Been a while...

Yes, it has been.

I apologise to all my lovely raving fans out there. *waves*


So, I planned to do nanowrimo, but then i decided that in the first week I should apply for a grant. But since that was due in a week, it was decided that I didn't have enough time to do it proberly, so I didn't. It was also rental house inspection week, so I had to clean the place lots. But by then it was a week into nano. Then it was decided that i should buy a house. I looked at properties/units for a week, then I got disillusioned, so I didn't. Then nano was two weeks into it, so there was no way i could catch up now. Then i decided to have a tupperware party. So I am having to clean house again, although having it 2 weeks from inspectiuon clean there isn't too much to be done. Well, actually, it has been 2 weeks.... And shop for ingredients for the nibblies, food, and cocktails, and I am going to bake cookies and fudge at the party too, so i have to bake and clean and organise. So i really am not doing nano. But since I didn't apply for grant or buy a house I probably could of, but then I wouldn't be able to devote my time to baking, and........ hmmm. Internet. I have been here all night. I only came on to see if I had any more rsvp's to my invite, and here i still am. Eating chocolate, getting fatter, and typing on here, just for all you, guys my raving funs *blows kiss*. Wasted bloody November.

I still haven't decided what I want to do with my life... or next year. I am not going travelling this christmas, I haven't bought a unit/house. I still get depressed. I hate socialising, hate christmas, getting very depressed about my birthday coming up.

Oh, but Pangur is well, although my honey dwarf gourami died. I have a lovely black ghostknife now, and 3 angels as well in the tank. I am glad they are all getting along ok with the others.
I should go and feed my fishies.