What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
Well, after not being happy most of this year; and feeling like life's shit; and feeling so angry; and feeling so anxious; and feeling so down, and after a slight intervention by my boss, I have gone to the docs to seek help.
I got a blood test to rule out any underlying causes. I will go back to the doc on wednesday to get the results, and organise what to do.
I have been rather sad lately, and I can't really remember when I was last happy. My boss reckons something has been wrong, that i have not been the same for about 2 months, but for me it has been longer. I was happy when I got Pangur and my fishies, but I also remember afterwards feeling, thinking, "It didn't work", getting a cat didn't fix it. So.
It is telling when other begin to take notice. My mum said to my co-worker the other week thet I wasn't happy; my boss asked her a few times if she knew what's wrong.
More telling: a old friend now aquaintance whom I see at mutual friends things came up to me in early sept. and started telling me about a book on the different stages of depression. And how she thought I might be interested, and how am I doing anyway? 'cos I don't look so great, something is wrong, and she recommended going to see someone because she got onto something and it makes a big difference, and when I demurred she said that one doesn't know there is a better way because the state we live in is all we know. It can make one calmer, less mental dialogue, less confusion, better clarity in thinking, happier... or at least not as sad. I described some stuff and she said she had felt similar, so perhaps it could help me too. Basically: Seek help because there can be a better way of living.
So my boss then insisted we go to lunch, and I didn't want too, but one has to obey the boss, and he was actually really good, and he actually cares. I was expecting something worse. His advice: Get help now, because the lower one gets, the harder it is to come back, to get better. Get help now before it gets too bad.
As the doc said, I can't hide it anymore.
This is not new. It has come again.
I got a blood test to rule out any underlying causes. I will go back to the doc on wednesday to get the results, and organise what to do.
I have been rather sad lately, and I can't really remember when I was last happy. My boss reckons something has been wrong, that i have not been the same for about 2 months, but for me it has been longer. I was happy when I got Pangur and my fishies, but I also remember afterwards feeling, thinking, "It didn't work", getting a cat didn't fix it. So.
It is telling when other begin to take notice. My mum said to my co-worker the other week thet I wasn't happy; my boss asked her a few times if she knew what's wrong.
More telling: a old friend now aquaintance whom I see at mutual friends things came up to me in early sept. and started telling me about a book on the different stages of depression. And how she thought I might be interested, and how am I doing anyway? 'cos I don't look so great, something is wrong, and she recommended going to see someone because she got onto something and it makes a big difference, and when I demurred she said that one doesn't know there is a better way because the state we live in is all we know. It can make one calmer, less mental dialogue, less confusion, better clarity in thinking, happier... or at least not as sad. I described some stuff and she said she had felt similar, so perhaps it could help me too. Basically: Seek help because there can be a better way of living.
So my boss then insisted we go to lunch, and I didn't want too, but one has to obey the boss, and he was actually really good, and he actually cares. I was expecting something worse. His advice: Get help now, because the lower one gets, the harder it is to come back, to get better. Get help now before it gets too bad.
As the doc said, I can't hide it anymore.
This is not new. It has come again.
posted by Bright Tiger | 8:06 pm
3 Comments:
I hope things pick up for you BT. Admitting there is a problem and seeking help is a good first step.
Yeah ... what dil said.
Hey, BT. Hope you can get things sorted out quickly.
*hugs*
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